How to Know It’s Time to Start Therapy
Most people start therapy because they’re ready to have a different relationship with their thoughts, their emotions, and their life.
From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) standpoint, therapy is less about “fixing” and more about developing psychological flexibility, which allows you to stay grounded in the present, open to your inner experiences, and move toward what truly matters.
So how do you know when it’s time? Here are 10 signs rooted in ACT that therapy may help you:
1. Avoidance is running the show
ACT teaches that suffering grows when we spend our lives avoiding discomfort rather than engaging with our values.
Maybe you’re:
• Delaying making important decisions
• Numbing out with work, scrolling, food, or alcohol
• Avoiding hard conversations or emotions
When avoidance becomes a lifestyle, therapy can help you turn back toward living.
2. Your world has gotten smaller
Life shrinks when we drift away from values like connection, creativity, curiosity, family, rest, service, or faith.
If you’ve noticed yourself:
• Playing it safe
• Minimizing emotional risk
• Losing a sense of meaning
Then therapy can help you clarify what matters and rebuild vitality.
3. You’re stuck in your head and can’t “think” your way out
We love to overthink, ruminate, and problem-solve. But thoughts don’t always offer the best solutions.
If you’re:
• Overthinking
• Beating yourself up
• Trying to think your way out of anxiety, grief, or self-doubt
Therapy can help you step back from thoughts instead of being ruled by them.
4. You’re waiting to “feel ready”
Many high achievers believe readiness should come before action. ACT challenges that.
You don’t need confidence to live your life. You need willingness. If waiting to “feel better first” has stalled your life, therapy can help you do what matters most to you, even when it is uncomfortable to do so.
5. You judge yourself for having emotions in the first place
ACT doesn’t ask you to like fear, grief, or sadness. It invites you to make room for them instead of fighting them.
If you catch yourself thinking:
• “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
• “I should be stronger.”
• “Other people handle this just fine. What’s wrong with me?”
Therapy can help you relate to your emotions with curiosity, self-compassion, and acceptance.
6. You feel disconnected from the person you want to be
Maybe you’ve gone through a transition, or grief pulled you off-course, or burnout has blurred your sense of self. You may notice yourself:
• Defining yourself by symptoms: “I’m anxious, I’m broken, I’m failing.”
• Believing change isn’t possible: “This is just who I am.”
• Losing sight of who you want to be in your relationships, at work, in everyday decisions
Therapy can help you move from self-limiting stories to seeing your experience as information, not identity, and choosing who you want to be.
7. Your coping strategies work short-term but cost you long-term
Avoidance-based coping often looks like:
• Overworking to escape insecurity
• Drinking to manage stress
• Saying yes to everything to avoid guilt
Therapy is not about judging your behavior. It’s about asking: Is what you are doing helping you build the life you want?
8. You want more than symptom relief. You want meaning
How you are feeling matters, and you deserve relief.
But many people also yearn for:
• Connection and belonging
• Purpose
• Direction
• The ability to feel alive
• Competence
• Making sense of things
Therapy can help you build a life worth living, not a life without discomfort.
9. You’re tired of holding everything alone
Therapy offers a space where you don’t have to perform, achieve, or protect anyone.
It gives you:
• A place to practice vulnerability
• Accountability for values-based action
• A relationship built on acceptance and curiosity
You don’t have to earn support.
10. You’re ready to explore, not force solutions
Therapy invites:
• Curiosity instead of certainty
• Openness instead of self-criticism
• Questions rather than quick fixes
If you’re ready to slow down and explore your inner world instead of muscling through it, that’s a sign.
The bottom line
Starting therapy doesn’t mean you’re breaking down. It means you’re breaking open.
ACT doesn’t promise a life without fear or sadness. It promises a life where fear, sadness, uncertainty, and joy all have room to coexist. A life with movement. Meaning. Vitality.
If you’re noticing these signs, you don’t have to wait for a crisis or for confidence. Curiosity is enough.
Ready to Begin?
If you’re a high-performing adult navigating anxiety, depression, transition, grief, or the quiet pressure to “hold it all together,” I’d be honored to support you.
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